The Lone Ranger

2013, 12, Directed by Gore Verbinski
Starring: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, Tom Wilkinson, Ruth Wilson 

 

Let's address the elephant in the review; since its US release, The Lone Ranger has proved to be one of Disney's biggest flops since John Carter, and the biggest flop of the year. The big-screen incarnation of the gun-slinging masked lawman - here played by The Social Network's Armie Hammer - is a Disney/Bruckheimer (Jerry to his friends) team-up, a previous marriage that has since elevated the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise into one of the world's biggest. Lightning, it appears, doesn't strike twice. 

Peer beneath the misty surface though, and you just might find something to enjoy. In actual fact, don't feel guilty if you find numerous things to list off as positives afterwards. The not-so secret weapon Disney, Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski have deployed here is Jack Sparrow himself, Johnny Depp. Proving perceptible to poor box office doesnt detract from the performance - Depp is Tonto, a red Indian of few words whose alarming appearance is a combination of face make up and dead crow on head. Chilling with our lead for most of the running time, our Ranger isn't so lonesome, more exasperated at the hi-jinks being performed around him. 

 A reboot of the famous 50s TV Serial, Tonto narrates as Hammer's John Reid undergoes transformation from lawman to gunslinger as he attempts to track down notorious bandit Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner), keep brother's wife Rebecca (Luther's Ruth Wilson - oh so wasted) from harm, and do numerous other things that were probably a lot more fun to act out than watch.
 

 Many gleaming errors to address, but room for only a few: Hammer - dry and droll as both Winklewoss twins in David Fincher's modern classic Facebook drama - truly struggles to make the transaction to lead hero status, even more so when it's considered the role requires comedic wit, timing and slapstick abilities when there's not much there (shoving the funniest of us beside Johnny Depp without a crow on his head would be left gasping for air); the film, as per several 'blockbusters', outstays it's welcome by around 45 minutes. Far too long when the material doesn't warrant it. But let's throw this back to Depp. Less vocal than Sparrow, Tonto's mere facial expressions could trigger belly laughs. Could. His deadpan exterior and death-cheating nuance is a lazy effort underneath it all, but still remains The Lone Ranger's double-edged sword; he manages to light up the screen with several jokey moments, but obliterates Hammer's charisma into yesteryear.
 

Regardless, haven't you heard? This is the summer of the breathless chase sequence atop speeding vehicles! (Star Trek Into Darkness, The Wolverine, and countless train-chase moments here). Credit where credit's due, these scenes are insanely well-choreographed and played by the supporting players with relish, and if there's even a smidgen of childish innocence remaining inside of you, they should leave you marvelling in wonder and giggling with delight on more than one occasion. Should.

 

 This review couldn't end without a mention going towards Silver, the lone ranger's stallion equipped with his very own specific set of skills. Utterly charming.

 

Moments of promise amounts to merely watchable fodder that outstays its welcome. Judging by its vindictive response, a Lone Ranger sequel looks unlikely; the harsh irony being that the only way to prevent a mindlessly churned-out sequel is for the film to underperform at the box office. That thought in itself is worse than any thoughts this film induced. See for yourself.

 

2.5/5

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The Conjuring

2013, 15, Directed by James Wan

Starring: Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson 
 

James Wan has most certainly made his mark through deliverance of well-honed, if a little preposterous, yet damn effective horrors. Look past the six sequels, and Saw (2004) remains a top-rate twist-ridden gem; the opening 45 minutes of 2010’s Insidious, many would argue, is a masterwork of the tensest proportions. What better way to introduce his latest attempt to terrify than The Conjuring - an out-and-out spook fest, that isn’t without its gimmicks, but refreshingly toes the ghost story line and remains en route right up until its closing shot: the innocent family; the old-fashioned new house; the creepy basement; the music box. All present and correct, and completely outdone by the daddy of ‘em all; the creepy doll - it’s the Perron’s (headed by Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston, trailed by their five dainty daughters and dog) who are being terrorised by unseen haunts pretty much from the get-go. Enter left Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga), supernatural investigators who agree to check out the place when approached by a haggard Mrs. Perron after attending one of their lectures. Perhaps racking up the tension somewhat is the shared knowledge that The Warren’s are real-life investigators – famously embroiled in the notorious horror of Amityville - who have only very recently agreed to share their experiences (so we're told.)

 In a chiller featuring all the expected hi-jinks, it’s somewhat refreshing to be led through the narrative by characters that feel genuinely real, with Taylor’s Carolyn Perron a real beacon of fear (it doesn’t take a lot for her to suspect something’s not quite right – finally, a horror victim with brains), not to mention a particularly bad investigation experienced in the past by The Warrens that threatens to endanger the present.

 A fantastically effective opening and final moment - unnervingly isolated from the remainder of the film - bookend something largely run-of-the-mill, but not without its standout moments to elevate it above standard fare; just dare someone to clap in your vicinity afterwards. It's disappointing then that when The Conjuring reaches its final third, chills dissipate in place of jumps, dampening the patchwork crafted before it. With September's release of Insidious: Part 2 to come before James Wan parts ways with the horror genre for the time being in favour of Fast & Furious escapades, this is a fine way to leave his salivating audience wanting more.

Especially now there's a good chance he'll be remembered as the guy who caused grown men to dispose of any dolls lying around the house.

 3/5

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Man of Steel

12, 2013, Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe

 

 

When the trailer for Man Of Steel landed, fit with its Terence Malick art-house shots of billowing linen, butterflies and small-town America, it was easy to assume Zack Snyder's slant on Superman was to be much of the same ilk as Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy: grounded with a humane realism. It becomes clear quickly, once Man of Steel begins, how this could be cited something of a mis-representation: the talks of Nolan-isation (with the director landing a writing/producing credit) a falsity. This is 300 and Watchmen director Snyder's vision, and as Russell Crowe's Krypton Father Jor-El looks over a destructing Krypton, the scope is difficult to deny.

The first act impressively sets up this generation's version of the classic comic, as newly-born Kal-El is sent to Earth in the hope that he will 'do better.’ Cue many scenes of Henry Cavill hoisting vehicles, saving schoolchildren and rather darkly locking himself in cupboards to escape his alienating alien abilities. Chronological sentimentality is avoided - as baby Kal lands on earth we’re treated to a jump-cut of a boat upon which he’s now in his thirties, dubbed Clark Kent, and is a full-time fisherman, part-time hero - and in its place is non-linear philosophy. Raised by regular Joe couple Jonathan and Martha Kent (Diane Lane and Kevin Costner,) Clark is treated to Jonathan's teachings and regular bouts of dialogue about how the world is not ready for Clark to fly; Snyder presents these moments in a non-linear sequence, so as to get a glimpse of the humanity embedded within Kal when he needs to be most super.

The human element of this film is most certainly distilled upon the arrival of a vengeance-seeking General Zod, banished from Krypton before its destruction and now seeking Kal, hell bent on destroying earth so as to 'rebuild' foundations. Played with expert villainy by the ever-intense Michael Shannon, the showdown is more epic than could be imagined. Perhaps an understatement, but things break. Skyscrapers, tarmac, walls... with every new shot comes a new object plummeting to the ground in smithereens, usually around ‘Pulitzer Prize-winning’ Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane (Amy Adams in a less fruitier role than one may have cared for.) It's a wonder the audience can follow what they're watching, but with some expertly-choreographed sequences, Man of Steel manages to escape the wearisomely-injected mayhem that plagues Michael Bay's Transformers films. 

But with a hero who if shot at would destroy the bullet, it remains questionable how much humanity could ever have been placed on Clark Kent's shoulders. At this film’s crux is that age-old story of somebody dealing with the mistakes of a past generation - or planet - and forced to embrace who they truly are, despite inevitable opposition from a world plagued with terrorism. Much has been said about the film’s lack of humour, perhaps unfairly; several scenes offer subtle chuckles by way of the script, most memorably a scene where Clark dons that outfit, allowing the police to put him in cuffs, before telling Lois Lane the symbol on his suit is not a letter. ‘Well, here it’s an S,’ she retorts.

Nothing is as top scale as it feels things should be, instead remaining enjoyable enough to pass off as a few hours of entertainment rather than proving show-stopping enough to be branded super. Cavill’s performance is secondary to Snyder’s action, leaving it to Crowe and Shannon to steal scenes. With teases galore and standout moments towards the film's end, not to mention tantalising ticks placed throughout, it seems Kal-El's foundations have indeed been built on earth – with introductions out of the way, and Bryan Singer’s 2006 effort defeated, Superman will return and promises to be superior. 

 

3.5/5

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Fast and Furious 6

12, 2013, Directed by Justin Lin
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez

Let’s face it - a new fast and furious film is either going to get your motor running or turn your engine off. For those edging towards the latter, let it be made clear that every film in the series is probably everything you'd expect it to be; mindless action intercut with clichéd characters spurting ridiculous dialogue in between the revving of engines and shooting of guns. But, as the people in the former's camp would tell you, the action - mindless may it be - is usually well-crafted heart-racing material; the characters - clichéd may they be – are, for all intents and purposes, much-loved additions to the action; whilst the dialogue - ridiculous may it be – is... ridiuclous, amped up to ninety. 

With the cast returning in 2009’s disappointing Fast and Furious, the franchise seemed destined to grind to a tumultuous halt. That was before 2011’s Fast Five – with newly added Dwayne Johnson – revitalised the series by delivering the best thrills of the series thus far, not to mention a film many considered a superior action flick. And so we have Fast and Furious 6, the next ‘episode’ of Vin Diesel’s street-racing posse. Living the high life in Brazil following their financial coup at the end of Fast Five, all seems well in paradise until Hobbs (Johnson) shows up picking up where that tantalising post-credits scene left off; Michelle Rodriguez’s presumed-dead Letty is alive, amnesia-ridden and rooting for the wrong villainous team under the guide of Luke Evans’ brooding big bad, Owen Shaw. Yep, his slimy, yet refreshingly English, villain wishes to enact something as forgettable as other villains before him have done in ways that pave the way for ensuing car-nage. Don't roll those eyes just yet.

The series is officially on a different page to what it was when we first met Toretto (a heroic Vin Diesel) back in ’01; the initial trilogy was all about full-speed ahead action – the pulsating street races in exotic locations more than enough to make a sizable dent at the box office. But the past three films (under the protection of Justin Lin, directing since 2006's Tokyo Drift) has transitioned the series to character-driven ensemble. First-timers beware - Fast and Furious 6 feels like a soap opera on steroids.

Fortunately, the sixth outing has built on the set-pieces. Here, we have mayhem in the form of vehicles dangling from Russian cargo planes, a grenade-shooting tank and 'flip' cars - think racing cars designed to cause motor accidents. Lin has a real knack for both capturing this action so strategically and intercutting it with fulfilling character moments; although nothing quite reaches the heights of Fast Five's bank vault chase, Lin's standout is an extended sequence involving a tank which contains a zany payoff that will undoubtedly stir appplause in cinema screens.   

Back are the favourites: Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pearce, Sung Kang’s Han, Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges’ Tej and, of course, Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty, more than living up to her fellow female counterparts (most prominently of which is MMA superstar Gina Carrano of Haywire fame – the two brutually lock fists on the London underground in a scene that would break up many a commute.) And so, with most of the film’s action grounded in London, which means we have to deal with a few inevitable missteps – namely Mr Stereotype in the form of uppity policemen and a camp car salesman, not to mention a cameo from bloody Rita Ora. But it’s still neat to see familiar locations falling prey to the driving skills of Diesel and Ridriguez, even if you can’t help but wonder when the streets of central London have ever been that empty.

The film boasts little originality (save for Vin Diesel’s delivery of a flying headbutt), nothing particularly fresh in the way of technical filmmaking and Chris Morgan’s script is going to earn no acclaim. But what Lin hands to the audience is well-thought out vehicular action, supplying the fans with everything they desire in the form of hilarious character interaction, entertaining sub-plots and treats galore - not to mention an exhilarating part-and-parcel post-credits sequence that teases in a big way.

In a time where cinema is bogged down by the need to put on glasses to achieve maximum visual potential, it’s a real pleasure to announce that Fast and Furious 6 is pure and simple good ole-fashioned two-dimensional fun.   

…and for a franchise that could have gone the way of the junkyard long ago, that’s not bad going.

3.5/5

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Fast Five

12, 2011, Directed by Justin Lin
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Tyrese Gibson

Picking up immediately where Fast and Furious left off, it’s clear that Justin Lin has evolved this franchise into becoming two things: one - an out-and-out action romp that respects its characters as much as cars, and two - something to get excited about. With Paul Walker’s O’Conner and Jordana Brewster’s Mia hot on the pursuit of the prison van escorting Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto to lock-up, they free him and head to Rio de Janeiro as fugitives where they set to planning a heist to steal $100,000 from a corrupt businessman. An obstacle arrives in the form of a dropped Rock as Dwayne Johnson stars as Luke Hobbs, a boulder of a US agent who has his sights squarely aimed at Toretto. Spewing laugh-out-loud lines with tongue-in-cheek tact, Johnson is an insanely-welcome addition to the ever-growing cast, which sees the return of series favourite’s Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges), Han (Sung Kang) and Giselle (Gal Gadot), all whom lend a hand to earn a cut of the money.

Perhaps overlong, this can be forgiven for providing audiences with a scene that could vie for the series' best; a car-chase on a speeding highway  which features a car dragging along a destructive bank vault behind it, knocking out buildings and pursuing cars in the process. The decision to evolve the street-racing to high-octane car chase sequences amidst a heist is one that pays off.

And a post-credit sequence involving a few unexpected familiar faces fixes the wheels in motion for what's to come. A fifth film in a series has no right to be this fun.

3.5/5

 

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Fast and Furious

15, 2009, Directed by Justin Lin
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez

Back in 2001, critics labelled Vin Diesel as the next big movie superstar, and despite flops xXx (2002) and The Pacifier (2005), the actor's return to the franchise which launched him (alongside Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster and, of course, Paul Walker) is warmly welcomed; it's a shame though that this reuniting slice of action is the weakest in the series.

With returning characters at the forefront of the action, Fast and Furious tzkes time to establish each characters standing; Diesel's Toretto and the 'family' - including Sung Kang's Han, imediately placing the film's chronology pre-Toky Drift, are still committing highway heists, whilst Walker's Brian O'Conner is inexplicably working for the FBI in LA. Despite a thrilling extended opening that reintroduces the team like they never left us, inputting slow-mo to heighten the thrills, Fast and Furious plays like an extended episode of a US soap. The over-arching plot involving heroin importer and cartel leader Arturo Braga (Jon Ortiz) proves pretty similar to previous story attempts, which isn't to say the many plot-twists all work (an early death shocks) and seeing the cast reunited lives up to whatever expectation there was.

The original's fresh foot-pumping street races are absent, replaced with more lazily-constructed efforts to exhilarate – perhaps best summed up by a street slalom where the characters are denied improvisation –due to the placement of a sat nav. But, that breathlessly-paced opener just about carries you throughout, and when lines are spoken such as ‘When the GPS calls, you follow”, it's hard not to be entertained. With fuel injected late on, Justin Lin ensures that once the climax zooms past, you’ll be drawn back into the mindless shenanigans of Toretto and co., and ready to take your seat for numero five.

2.5/5

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The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

12, 2006, Directed by Justin Lin
Starring: Lucas Black, Sung Kang, Bow Wow, Nathalie Kelley

A franchise-resetter, the third instalment of The Fast and the Furious series axes all former characters and translates the action to Tokyo, where teenage American rebel Sean (Lucas Black, clearly in his twenties) embroils himself within the underground world of drift racing in Tokyo, locking heads with 'Drift King' Takashi in the process.

What feels like a straight-to-DVD attempt to keep the franchise burning soon elevates itself to ridiculously watchable fun as Sung Kang's potato chip muncher Han takes Luke under his wing, handing him shiny new cars, and teaching him how to professionally drift. Merge this with Kill Bill's Sonny Chiba waltzing onto the screen as Takashi's high-ranking Yakuza grandfather and you might actually find yourself enjoying something you probably never expected to.

A late-minute surprise cameo ties the seemingly-unrelated film to the rest of the franchise with fist-pumping success secures writing/directing duo Chris Morgan and Justin Lin as the guys responsible  for extending the film series' miles.

3/5

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