2013, 12, Directed by Gore Verbinski
Starring: Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, Tom Wilkinson, Ruth Wilson
Let's address the elephant in the review; since its US
release, The Lone Ranger has proved to be one of Disney's biggest flops since
John Carter, and the biggest flop of the year. The big-screen incarnation of the gun-slinging masked lawman - here played by The Social
Network's Armie Hammer - is a Disney/Bruckheimer (Jerry to his friends)
team-up, a previous marriage that has since elevated the Pirates of the
Caribbean franchise into one of the world's biggest. Lightning, it appears,
doesn't strike twice.
Peer beneath the misty surface though, and you just
might find something to enjoy. In actual fact, don't feel guilty if you find
numerous things to list off as positives afterwards. The not-so secret weapon
Disney, Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski have deployed here is Jack
Sparrow himself, Johnny Depp. Proving perceptible to poor box office doesnt
detract from the performance - Depp is Tonto, a red Indian of few words whose
alarming appearance is a combination of face make up and dead crow on head.
Chilling with our lead for most of the running time, our Ranger isn't so
lonesome, more exasperated at the hi-jinks being performed around him.
A reboot of the famous 50s TV Serial, Tonto narrates
as Hammer's John Reid undergoes transformation from lawman to gunslinger as he
attempts to track down notorious bandit Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner),
keep brother's wife Rebecca (Luther's Ruth Wilson - oh so wasted) from harm, and do
numerous other things that were probably a lot more fun to act out than watch.
Many gleaming errors to address, but room for only a
few: Hammer - dry and droll as both Winklewoss twins in David Fincher's modern
classic Facebook drama - truly struggles to make the transaction to lead hero
status, even more so when it's considered the role requires comedic wit, timing
and slapstick abilities when there's not much there (shoving the funniest of us
beside Johnny Depp without a crow on his head would be left gasping for air);
the film, as per several 'blockbusters', outstays it's welcome by around
45 minutes. Far too long when the material doesn't warrant it. But let's throw
this back to Depp. Less vocal than Sparrow, Tonto's mere facial expressions
could trigger belly laughs. Could. His deadpan exterior and death-cheating nuance
is a lazy effort underneath it all, but still remains The Lone Ranger's
double-edged sword; he manages to light up the screen with several jokey
moments, but obliterates Hammer's charisma into yesteryear.
Regardless, haven't you heard? This is the summer of
the breathless chase sequence atop speeding vehicles! (Star Trek Into Darkness,
The Wolverine, and countless train-chase moments here). Credit where credit's
due, these scenes are insanely well-choreographed and played by the supporting
players with relish, and if there's even a smidgen of childish innocence
remaining inside of you, they should leave you marvelling in wonder and
giggling with delight on more than one occasion. Should.
This review couldn't end without a mention going
towards Silver, the lone ranger's stallion equipped with his very own specific
set of skills. Utterly charming.
Moments of promise amounts to merely watchable
fodder that outstays its welcome. Judging by its vindictive response, a Lone
Ranger sequel looks unlikely; the harsh irony being that the only way to
prevent a mindlessly churned-out sequel is for the film to underperform at the
box office. That thought in itself is worse than any thoughts this film
induced. See for yourself.
2.5/5
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